Troy Loves Anna

2011-05-08T03:15:00.001-07:00

A Mother's Day Poem

The world is lightless, my dear love, without
You as my bright and golden, shimmering sun --
My love, respect, is something you can't doubt,
Dear mother of my daughter and my son.

2011-03-21T02:06:00.001-07:00

On How to Be a Man -- A Poem for Daniel

Son, stand and be a man, responsible
And virtuous and kind. You will not find
A man of worth who’s listless, cold, and cruel,
Who lives a life reptilian, not of mind.

Don’t live an anesthetic life; embrace
The senses, beauty of the world and life
And art; reject the bodiless and soulless,
The hatred of the world in strifeless strife.

A man of action is a man of words;
A man of words will always listen well;
The poetry of thought will see its source
To train you so that you can always tell

The wisest way to walk, traverse the waves,
And fly on falcon wings when you are sure
Your feathers formed, both soft and firm, for both
Are needed if life you will endure.

A man of wisdom is a man of worlds –
The worlds of simplest physics, chemistry –
The complex worlds of life, emergent systems –
All; cultures, art, and true economy.

A healthy man is one of healthy loves
And life; a life of beauty unifies
Diversity, transforms each soul it meets
To light, gives feathered wings so each one flies.

The opposite of manliness is not
The feminine. The feminine is truly
The complement of manliness. The boy,
So irresponsible, unkempt, unruly,

Is the true opposite of manliness.
Embrace the fullness of both sides of life,
The feminine and masculine, and you
Will have the truest virtue, not one rife

With hardness when you really need to show
You flow and bend and, flowing, show your strength,
Nor softness when you must stand firm and show
That you won’t always bend to any length.

Yes, son, to be a man you have to stand
For right and virtue, knowing when to bend
With strength and knowing when to love. Be true
And good, a soul of beauty to the end.

2010-10-26T04:46:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I have posted, but I think you've known
That over all these past three years my love for you has grown.

You are the first thing on my mind whenever I awaken --
I hope that you have always known my love for you's unshaken.

I want to get back to my nights of sleeping right beside you
(not just because I love to spend my every night inside you).

2007-08-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

A Poem for Our First Anniversary

I love you an infinity
In time, in space, in depth –
Your heart is a divinity
Of soul, of flesh, of breath.

You know that I will always love
The being that is you –
Your up and down, below, above
Becoming always new.

That’s why I’ll love you all my life –
If you are sick or hale –
That’s why I’m happy you're my wife –
My love for you’s to scale.

2007-08-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

Every day with my sweetie is the most perfect day inthe world!

2007-05-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm back online, so I can continue to saw how sweet and wonderful my sweetie-sweet and merry-merry munchkin are!!! (and they are)

2006-12-18T16:43:00.000-08:00

Today my daugher, Melina Keridwen, is one week old! I love my new little baby!!!

2006-12-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Blouse bunnies

Boobie Name Generator

2006-07-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

go to www.hal.exposuremanager.com to see pictures of my wedding!!!

2006-07-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

I'm married to the mostest beautifulest woman in the entire world!!! I love you sweetie!!!

Yesterday you made me the happiest man on earth. :-)

2006-06-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Unquenchable

I thirst for you, but when I see
You walk in through the door, I see
My thirst for you cannot be quenched.
How can my thirst ever be quenched?
When I see you all that I want
Is just to see you more. What kind
Of bright desire makes me want
To have you more and more? What kind
Of beauty . . . ?Yes! Beauty it is!
Desire drives me, for it is
Desire for beauty that grows
As thirst for it is quenched. Love grows.

2006-05-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

Joyful Drowning

Shall I compare you with another, dear
As you are now to my warm heart – no sun
Would shine on me, all rain would be my tear-
Drops flooding lake and streams until they run
In overflowing grief. Could anyone
Bring happiness to my heart, warm my blood
As you do every day? If I looked, none
Could step up on the shore out of the flood.
But you will always bring me joyful light,
A life of pleasure, full of love and fun.
My heart fills full of warm blood at your sight –
I marvel at the fortune that I’ve won.
I want to drown within your sun-warmed dew –
To drown’s the only way I’ll live – in you.

2006-05-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Garden Fields

My love for you’s a set of blooming fields,
All fenced off with an ever-folding fence –
And interest in their growing detail yields
An attraction that tightly bonds each sense.
I’ll tend the fields and make the flowers grow
More beautiful as I try to remove
The weeds that in their growth will try to slow
The flowers’ growth – this garden I’ll improve.
Yet in the bound of the environment,
A natural growth emerges and unfolds,
Insisting on collecting what it’s lent,
So we cannot know what the future holds.
But nature yields more when we till the ground,
And love grows only when it’s tightly bound.

2006-02-14T10:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I am so happy you are mine --
You'll always be my Valentine!

I love you!!!

2006-02-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

Since I did not have access to the internet during your birthday:

For Anna: A Birthday Poem

My love for you fills all of space –
My love for you is infinite
(One of the big ones) – and your face
Makes all my love so intimate.

I love you more than you can know –
I love you when I see your smile –
And every day will my love grow
As life goes by with every mile.

And on this birthday, first with me,
I want to say I love you so.
And in this love I want to be
In every birthday that you know.

2006-02-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

I love my sweetie! She is the mostest cuddliest!

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

2005-10-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth and Campos

Oh Muses come to me and sing
Of Campos, a Trojan man, an Earl,
The last young Trojan left on earth
Except for his Elizabeth, the love
He had to leave a while
In his travels into Greece.
Sing, dear Muses, of his return
Back home to his Elizabeth, the flower
Of his heart and mind, her sweet scent
Drawing him home again. The strange
Beasts he met and battled with,
The angry oceans he crossed to see
His beloved Elizabeth once again –
A love much deeper than the sea.

Campos set out on the shore, his army at his back,
Sands swirled around his feet within the waves
Washing to shore the blood of the serpent that he killed
To get to this black sandy shore. He emerged
From the sea, goldened by the sun, great Helios
Drawing his carriage across the sky as he smiled
Down on Campos’ men. Patroklos the Rough
Stood beside him at his right, a nameless giant
Shadowed his left side. Behind him stood
Other sons of Herakles, all sworn to always fight
Beside the mighty Campos, just and beautiful
In all things, a model for the world in all his deeds
And in his love for his beautiful Elizabeth.
"Are you sure that this is where we must land
On this hot day?" The great Patroklos asked Campos.
The nameless giant nodded too. So Campos turned to see
His men each in the eye as men should always do.
"I asked for you to join me in my quest to find my love.
This is a quest I only ask myself, not of my friends,
To fulfill into the end. There is no shame in going home.
But as for me, I’ll carry on. Dear Elizabeth should never feel
As alone again as she now must. She longs for me as I for her –
I will continue on." And with that said, a cheer arose
Among the mighty men, defiance shown against all odds –
Their loyalty earned in every battle won. And so the leapt ashore,
Weapons strapped on every arm, and every man
Strode behind their Earl, sure he led them to a man
To shameless honors and victories.
As Campos led them
Onto shore, the black earth rumbled at their feet.
A fire erupted into the sky and darkened Selene’s lovely face
Just now beginning to rise. The men stepped back –
They were unafraid, just surprised at such a sudden burst –
They readied their weapons and their shields as Campos
Stepped out on the plain.
"Whoever comes to challenge me,
Do know I won’t for a moment stop. My dear Elizabeth
Beckons me, and nothing shall keep me away from her."
Then Campos heard a voice from all around –
So loud it must have been a god – and all the men
Now trembled when they heard, "You set your foot
On sacred ground. You shall not pass nor turn around
Until the punishment has been met – your blood for sacred ground."
But Campos raised is weapon arm and shook it
At the voice that came.
"You do not understand my plight.
You stand within my way. And nothing on this earth or sky
Shall keep me from my love. Nothing on earth is as strong
As my love for fair Elizabeth – if you don’t move, then you shall die.
This promise I shall keep."
Out from the trees stepped Luceron –
A light shined form his eyes. A serpent’s tongue wrapped
Around his teeth that jut from his massive lower jaws
And under each bright eye. Muscles bulged under hairy scales
And a scorpion’s tail struck overhead. Eagle claws
On both his feet Gripped the earth and dig out holes
Deep enough to bury each grown man who stood with swords at sides.
He looked as red as the dark red clay from which he sprung, death
Played across his snapping jaws. And then he shook his mane.
"You do not frighten me, great Luceron, As terrible
As you may look. If I must kill you so I can reach
Elizabeth, then that I’ll do upon this very day. I say this
As a warning made to you – for you must know I will prevail."
Luceron puffed up his chest and sucked the air
From out of each of the great warriors’ lungs,
And blew out a most terrible wind, an acrid stench
That knocked the men onto the sand and killed
The two weakest of the men. But Campos stood,
He held his ground, and waited for the monster
To blow out its blast of air – and then great Campos
Launched a spear into its mouth, and leapt
When it held firm. The monster roared,
And red blood flowed, but Luceron stood his ground.
He pulled the spear out of his mouth and charged
Across the plain. Campos’ men launched all their spears –
The monster’s massive scaled deflected all that came –
But Campos crouched and when he came to see
The texture of the tongue hanging from the monster’s mouth,
Campos leapt upon its neck and grabbed it by its
Shaggy mane. He climbed up to the monster’s head
And with his sword he stabbed it to the hilt
Into the monster’s shining eye, and then he grabbed it
By the jaws and pulled with all his might. Luceron
Had never known a man to be a great and strong
As Campos seemed to be. His massive jaws stayed open
As great Campos pulled back with both his arms.
And then the monster and great Campos felt
The monster’s jaw tear ripping loose, and Campos
Ripped the monster’s jaw from off its angry face.
As great Campos ripped the jaw, he fell
Down to the ground. And with a massive tooth
From that very jaw, he stabbed Luceron into the heart,
Between the plates that made his bellowing chest.
And with a heave and such a roar that one more man
Just died of fright, Luceron fell and breathed his last,
And Campos stood upon his corpse, victorious,
Yet ready now to move on to see Elizabeth.
He led his men on to the mountains rising to the sky –
The mountains where the gods and monsters dwelled,
Standing unfortunately for all who stood in the way
Of the mighty Campos and his beloved Elizabeth.
For Elizabeth was the one and only truest love
Of Campos the slayer of the monsters and men
Who brought terrible things to the earth and men –
Campos, who sought good for all men and love
Most dear for his beautiful beloved Elizabeth,
Most fair and just of women on the earth.
Elizabeth, who Campos loved more than his own life,
Who he would make his wife upon his return to her,
Waited for her beloved Campos to return, certain
Of his return to her, his promise that he would always
Return to her, and never leave her again for so long.
So Campos led his men across the broad and grassy plains
And into the towering mountains, to uncertain dangers.
At a town they rested and were told of a way home
More quickly through the rugged mountains – a path
Through, into a cave that tunneled all the way through
To the other side. A danger, though, they were warned –
A mythic monster no one had ever seen, for none returned.
"How then do you know the tunnel goes through?"
Campos asked the man.
"The monster was not
Always there," the man replied to him. "There was a time
When we were wealthy from the trade passing through,
But now we have fallen to poverty, a city taxed
By this monster’s presence."
Campos made a promise
To the man and city: "This borough shall not be ruled
By this monster’s fickle ways. I shall free the cavern
And this city from his great oppression."
So Campos went and led his men from the town
And deep into the tunnel cave. They walked
And were surprised to find they traveled unmolested.
The light came in the other side and all
Walked with relief to the cavern mouth.
They came into an open field, great Helios it blinded
All their eyes as his light reflected from the scales
Of the mountainous monster standing there
Between them and the other cave that lead
Through the other mountain towering into the clouds.
The men stood firm, hands on arms, ready for a fight.
The monster opened its cavernous mouth, and light
Flashed from its massive temples as a soothing voice
Slipped off its tongue and the monster spoke down to the men.
"My dear, dear men, what brings you here
Into my humble home? Have you come to smell my flowers,
Seek my wisdom or my treasures?"
But Campos said
In his mighty voice, "We came to open up the way
That you have closed so very long. Men have vanished
In this place and poverty brings darkness and despair
To the town that traded though this tunnel I have passed."
"Have you come here, all this way, just to accuse me,
Having the voice of the accusers and ignorant
Of what I, the accused, have to say? This is just?"
The monster asked with a charming voice,
Convincing in its subtlety.
"So speak, and let us hear
Your side, and tell us who you are."
The monster smiled its thousand teeth and spoke to all the men:
"I have come to make sure my men that live on either side
Won’t waste their lives in frivolous things. I just let pass
What they need, when I’ve spent sufficient time perusing it.
All will pass that’s needed. You may call me Kratic."
"Well, great Kratic, I’ve seen the men with whom
You’ve interfered. Their once-great city lies in ruins,
Their only food what they an grow, their goods
All lie in waste, all rots right where it sits. You seize
These good from your own greed, all justified with lies."
"Do you not know with whom you speak?"
"Do you, great Kratic, know yourself? I’m Campos –
I’m protector of men. And I will stop the harm you bring,
Buy force or by persuasion. Which? The choice belongs to you."
Great Kratic brought out his golden wings
And flapped tornadoes with each great wing.
"I’ll fly to see if what you have come here to claim
Bears any resemblance to the truth," Kratic said
And with a leap flew up into the sky. "I will return
And if I find you lie, then I will kill you all."
He flew away and left silent Campos and his men
To wait for his return. When he left one of Campos’ men
Came up to Campos and said to him, "Master,
The great monster left. Let us go and continue on."
But Campos looked the man in his eyes and said to him,
"We do not run, nor do we leave poor men to rot
With such a wasting life. We will wait to hear Kratic’s word,
To see what he has to say." And so the men stood firm
And waited for the monster to soon return. Campos
Stood, patient and impatient, for Kratic’s return
So Campos could continue on to see his love. Their wait
Was not long – the mighty Kratic flew at such a speed
That man had never seen, and he returned to Campos
And his men to report on what he’d seen.
"I’ve seen
That what you say is true. My wisdom, it has failed.
I shall banish myself from this land and let men
Do as their follies will – those are wiser, more than me –
My plans, they all have failed." And with a flap, Kratick flew
Up into the sky. "I’ll rejoin my brothers in the air,
And remain, a star to guide men by. But I shall never
err again and interrupt their lives."
"Great Kratic,"
Campos yelled to him, "No greater soul now lives
In either man or beast as the one that lies in you.
Good travels – I’m joyful at the thought
That reason won out over war."
With that great Kratic
Shot up in the air and vanished toward the sun.
And Campos led forth all his men, and finished
Traveling through the mountain’s tunnels.
The city on the other side, on hearing of his deed,
Celebrated for three days, and lifted statues to his name –
But Campos stayed for but a night – his love
For dear Elizabeth more precious than all awards.
That morning’s parade escorted him back on the road,
And Campos set out for Elizabeth the love he missed
More than all the world if it were lost to him.
That night, the stars traced out her face, his dreams
Brought her to him. She walked on starlight,
Her black and wavy hair a halo on her face, a wind
Bellowed out her blouse, her breast broke forth
In all their beauty, an image of Aphrodite herself,
Elizabeth blessed by that beautiful goddess
With such beauty and sensual love. Campos reached
Out with his arms and took his love up to his chest
And kissed her lips and pressed her close, bare breasts
Upon her chest. But when he went to drop her clothes,
The sun began to shine, and Campos woke into the light
And cursed its early glow. But then he said,
"I should not curse – no dreamy ghost
Can quite compare with Elizabeth in flesh and bone.
Dear Helios, do please forgive my curse – you’re right
To wake me so I can go and see my true Elizabeth."
And so great Campos woke his men to get them on the way,
And Campos swore love to the sun for waking him that day.
And so they traveled on for days until they came up to a hill,
Steep and slick, of marble rock, whose path
Lay in their way. But when great Campos reached the top,
A giant eagle swooped from on high, and grabbed
Great Campos in his claws and lifted him to the sky.
His men flung spears and rocks and arrows,
All to no avail. And Campos flew off from his men,
They thought a certain meal. Indeed, the eagle
Flew him to a giant nest upon a peak above the clouds
Where eaglets lay in wait. But when she landed
Campos leapt upon her back and with his sword,
Stabbed through the neck of the great bird. She dropped,
Dead on the nest, and Campos stood up on her corpse.
And with a sword-swing he killed all the young.
He pulled some feathers from her wings and tied them
To his legs. He cut the longest feathers from her wings
And shoved his arms into their hollow sheathes
And stepped out on the rocky ledge to catch
The gusting wind. He flew up on the fashioned wings
And looked down at the passing earth.
He found the way to get back home, and flew
On updrafts and on currents meant to bring him home
To Elizabeth. So on these currents Campos flew
Until he recognized his home. And dear Elizabeth
Standing in the doorway of their home. She looked
And saw an eagle fly down to the place she stood,
And jumped into the house to close the door, not knowing
Who it was. But Campos called down to his love,
"Fear not, for it is me. I’ve returned as I had promised you."
With this, most fair Elizabeth flung back the door and ran
To him as Campos lighted on the ground and shed
His feather wings. He ran to her and took her in his arms
And kissed her full and lovely lips, and swept her in his arms
And walked with her into the house. He shed his clothes
And took off hers and lay her naked in their bed.
And here he stayed in her until his men came by the house
To tell the news of Campos’ sure demise five days
After great Campos came back to his love’s fair arms.
And when they saw their leader step safe and alive
Out from his marble house, they cheered and yelled
Out so all could hear, "Great Campos has returned,
Long live his fame and his great love, Elizabeth –
Long live her lovely name." And so the word
Spread through the land so everyone could hear
the love of Campos and his beloved Elizabeth,
A love which Campos fought men and monsters for,
A love worth telling everyone who’d hear.

2005-09-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

For Anna, A Sonnet

I sleep and dream of beautiful brown eyes,
Your long brown curls cascading to your breasts,
Big brown nipples beckoning to me, sighs
Rise to my lips -- in my mind my head rests

Between your bare breasts. Now I see your face,
Such lovely lips -- a face I bring forward,
Your lovely body I want to embrace
Again -- you are my lovely and adored

I must leave behind for a short time -- you
Are all I think of now. I want to come
Back to see you, never leave you, and view
You in your beautiful browns -- my heart's numb

Without you -- I can't wait to see your brown
Eyes again, dear -- in them I live to drown.

2005-09-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

When I was Thirty-Three

Back when I was thirty-three
And certain I would be alone
I never thought I would be in love,
I thought I’d live just like a stone.

But that was oh so long ago,
Way back when I was thirty-three,
And now I know that I will stay in love
Since now I know that you love me.

And now I know that I will be in love
Now that I am thirty-four.
And I know you’ll always love me too,
For without you I was always poor.

I thought I’d live just like a stone,
But now I know that you love me –
For without you I was always poor,
Back when I was thirty-three.

2005-09-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

Your Superior Song (Albaics)

Great Muse of mine who sings of the love that is
Light, sun, Apollo’s kiss on the cheek as you
Pluck sirens’ feathers from their bodies –
Sirens whose songs cannot tempt me from you.

Plucked sirens lie around on the ground, a few
Sharp notes untie themselves from their beaks, unwind
Wild wails unbeautiful and heartless –
Others are tempted, but never me, love.

Great Anna, always sing of your love for me –
Kill sires dead – why pluck so they live to try
Temptations once again? You bring me
Safe to you – sing of love, dearest Anna.

Dark sirens cannot tempt me away from you –
Great Muse, my Anna, singing your harmonies –
Light shines when you are singing, loving –
Sirens are silent around me, frightened.

Dear Anna, greatest love of all, sing with me
Great songs of love which I will refashion and
Compose for you, my constant lover –
Life without you is a songless living.

2005-09-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

An Alba for Anna

The sun breaks on the Texas fields
For the first time for me when I
See you every day. A cavern-
Like darkness descends, a dreary
World of shadows, chains on a wall –
That was my one world without you.

You are no mere mirroring moon,
You’re a sunny source of bright light –
Your creative color cascades
Bring life to my world, my nighttime.
The dawn – you are the dawn, the light
That brings life, lingering, lovely.

Without you there are no new dawns –
Bare your breasts to bring the bright dawn
As the Hindu goddess does – rose
Rays rising radiantly up
Into the sky’s highest reaches.
Always bring me beautiful dawns.

2005-09-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

Ae Freislighe for My Love

My love for you ever grows –
A flower beautiful
In the garden never knows
How it is so plentiful.

My life is a paradise
Since I fell in love with you –
I will always bear a price
Unless I make our myth true.

I’m on a tall garden post,
A coiling snake, my dry glove
Slaking off – please pardon most
Metaphors for my love.

2005-09-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

Premiere, For My Fiancee

A world has opened up for me, a love
No other ever brought me, a life
No one could bring me, only you – a glove,
A ring, a set of spoons, a future wife.

Espouse with me our mutual love, a fire
Lit bright between us, flame that will not dim –
In darkness I will light your way, a dire
Zero will turn into growth, cherubim
Arrows will mingle both our bloods, our two’s
Become a one. My Aphrodite, I’m
Eros, born before and from you – we grow
Truly from each other, a growth in time,
Healthful, happy, we glow in overflow.

From freedom you have made me free, a tree
Leafing out in crunchy leaves when I bind
Oak limbs to make more beautiful as we,
Rendered in platinum, are intertwined.
Every thought that I have of you renews,
Since you are all my every thought pursues.

2005-09-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

Psyche

With every kiss your breath and mine combine,
With every finger-stroke I feel your soul
Intermingle and come in touch with mine –
We are two halves of a soul, now made whole.

My Aphrodite, lovely agony,
The tension and wholeness of beauty made
So everything next to you is phony
In comparison, or hidden in shade.

When you lift me, white, into heaven’s light
And bring my black third under strict controls,
I can see true beauty, bright, clear, in sight
In ways I never knew, led by two foals.

You lift me to the sun, my lunar love,
And help me see the brilliance in true beauty’s
White light. I feel I am now high above
Life’s concerns – loving you my only duty.

2005-09-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

The Missing Goddess

In Athens, land of Athena, I see
The most beautiful goddess is not here –
The one I worship – sacred Anna – know
I will return to you, don’t ever fear.

My Aphrodite, you no longer live
In Greece – how were you reborn in Texas?
Yet your features are just as delicate
And lovely as this ancient Grecian lass.

The Muses, all nine, are not turned to one –
Embodied every one in you – you bring
Inspiration to my thoughts – I create
Everything for you, every song I sing.

You pluck the feathers of all the sirens,
They cannot lure me the way that you do –
Nothing can lure me from the course I’ve set,
To ensure that I will return to you.

Yes, I am your Odysseus – I will
Return to you – I’ll fight off all monsters
And giants – none but you shall ever do –
I’ll return home, defeat all imposters.

2005-09-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

With this diamond, simple sparkling crystal,
A glance at linear eternity,
Bound upon this metal ring, its circle
Endless in its curve -- and both making growth,
A growth of love as they bind you to me,
Your flesh to mine -- this shows the love that binds.
So with this ring I ask you please take
Away from me my liberty, and let
Me take away your liberty as well,
So each of us can live with a greater
Kind of freedom than either of us know.
My dearest Anna, will you marry me?

2005-09-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

For Anna: A Treatise on Love

When I speak of love, I cannot separate it from you. You are my warm south wind on a chilly day, my sun rising overhead to warm the snows drifted over my heart. Crocuses and daffodils rise in your warming glow and bring color to mountain meadows. I try to rise to reach you, butterfly wings lifting electric blue and green from the flowers to the sky, drifting on your warm winds. Orange and black monarch butterflies drift north and south, from temperate American fields full of milkweed, bitter leaves transformed into white, black, and orange horned caterpillars that grow, shed their skins to become green and gold chrysalis that burst forth into brilliant butterflies that fly south to winter in tropical Mexican trees. Cool autumn winds carry monarchs south, warm spring winds bring them north – the cycle of love, passing between you and me, from me to you, from you to me.

You are my pleasure, you are my desire. My thoughts are with you always. My work suffers – but I find no fault in its suffering, for it suffers for something far greater, more noble, more beautiful. And I too, suffer – I suffer your not being with me, every moment of your absence. Ah, but what more beautiful suffering is there than this? Only in this suffering do I pray you share with me. For it is a most joyful suffering – and I want you to share with me in my every joy. For this is my happiness – a shared suffering, a shared joy. My happiness is in doing what I can to make and keep you happy. Yes, you are my happiness.

Do I seem too contented already with you? Is this not a kind of happiness? Even Faust offered to sell his soul to the devil for a taste of this kind of happiness. The devil lost because Faust indeed never found contentment, but joy – and he has lost my soul too in the love and joy I have in you. Do things seem to move too fast? Does the intensity of love frighten you? Ah, we have lived far too long in an anaesthetic age – we have come to fear the most wonderful feelings we can come to know! Do you dare to join with me as I journey to find the source of all beauty in love, and all love in beauty? Yes, the way is steep and narrow, and the fall precipitous indeed, but it is worth the journey, worth the view, worth risking all. Tie yourself to me, and we will not fall, we shall not fail as we scale these heights. Do you feel the wind blowing? Cling to me, and I will not let you fall. The sun is rising over the mountain peaks, the fog is burning away. I will watch your step as you walk with me. I will bring you safe to new heights and teach you the joy of leaping from peak to peak!

What is this love I feel for you? The Greeks have several words for love, yet they are all together in the English word "love." They are one, and many, and, thus, beautiful. I eros you my dear beloved – the joy I find in your kisses, in your touch, in the entirety of your body. I philia you my dear beloved – the joy I find in your presence, in all the things we do, in the entirety of who you are and surely will become. I even agape you, though this, in comparison with the other loves I feel for you, seems shabby in comparison. I love you far, far more, and more meaningfully, than I love "all of mankind." I love you as family, and much, much more than family. I have chosen you and, in choosing you, my love for you is greater than toward any family I was born to through fortune alone.

Having chosen you, I love you. And I love you for all the things that make you who you are – I love you only because, and never despite, who you are. I love you with everything that comes with you. Shall I try to change you? Heaven forbid! Shall I try to keep you eternal, unchanged? Heaven forbid that as well! I love you for who you are – I love you for your humanity – and not as a goddess or an angel (though in my eyes you attain to such heights in your very humanness). I love you for who you will become, whatever you become, growing with you to become who I will as you become who you will too. I strive to become better for you, to be the man whom you would love. I only hope to try to become worthy of your love. Thus, I love and will love you. Love is an action, a verb – it is something you do or do not do. I chose to love you – you are worthy of my choosing to love you.

I see the best in me reflected in you – and I see in you the best I can become. Enough the same to get along, enough difference to be interesting, worth knowing and loving, a spur to my growth. There are heights people can reach only with the presence of another whom they love – and I am beginning to see those heights, to see the peaks above the clouds. I never knew they were there – I need and needed you to even see them. I need you more to reach their peaks. Does the fall seem far? Isn’t it worth the risk? Can you learn to live dangerously? Ah, the joys we can experience, the achievements we can reach, the splendors we can perceive! From such heights we can look down on the sun, the play of sun and shadows in the valleys of the world, on the flowers blooming in all the fields of the earth, on each and every butterfly flapping its wings, reflecting the sunlight in their colored scales. Do you feel the weight, that pleasurable weight that makes such heights even possible? The heaviness of love – do you feel its joyous weight?

Shall we give ourselves over to each other? Shall we find our truest selves in the lives of each other? Shall we find the light in the other that matches our deepest shadows? Shall we allow ourselves to become finally, fully illuminated? Shall we become unified, having found our other half, so we can become again a danger to the gods? Yes, do not listen to them, as they whisper in your ears, trying to keep you from your other self, to prevent us from becoming complete, and fully beautiful, so we threaten their kingdom. Aristophanes was right in recognizing the danger we can become – for unified, we are together more beautiful than any of the ancient gods. Drink me in as I drink in you, what you give out, I will take in – we shall cycle into each other and bring forth a new kind of life on earth. Together, we emerge into something new, and far more beautiful. Together we are more than what we are apart, and merely added together. You make me restless, you disturb my calm waters (a calm only on the surface), you bring me back to life. As we flow together, you make me turbulent.

I am swept along, swept away by your beauty. I now know how true it is that beauty makes you want to reproduce it – I reproduce you here, and yet know this is hardly enough. I must reproduce you over and over and over again. You must be copied – there cannot be enough of you in the world. Every work of beauty I make, I make in the likeness of you. Anything I make that is not beautiful is the fault of me, and me alone – all present and future beauty I make, I make in the likeness of you. It cannot be helped – I must create you, procreate you, re-create you. Is it no wonder, then, that our favorite form of recreation could lead us in a careless moment to procreation? Attempts at creating you, the drive to procreate you – the combination of love and beauty. The love I have of you in your beauty. I want more and more of you, in every poem, in every essay, in every repetition of you in every moment as time passes and passes. I want you again and again and again. Thus you endure, thus I endure. I give my life to loving you.

We stand on this mountain path and morning breaks on you, illuminates you and your every beautiful feature. Daffodils quiver in the wind at your feet, the flowers golden as the sun that gives them life. You have brought me out of my cave where I lived, chained and seeing shadows – now I know the light and beauty of the world, seeing it all in you. The moon hangs low and silver in the blue sky, unwilling to leave her companion, the sun. Two titans look down on us, bless us in our beauty we have together, loving one another. A third lifts us toward them, the earth brings us up as much as its gravity gives us weight. Shall we continue, us two, us three (my moon, I wish to be your sun), giving off such light rays? Shall beauty not be ours, to have, to hold in our arms, made rich and healthy in each other where once we were poor and sick? Shall I not nourish you when you are weak, bring you back to health when you are sick? Shall I not always love you as I love you now? No – it will only become better, stronger, healthier, and more beautiful. This is how I shall love you. And the morning sunlight shall never leave your face.

When I speak of love, I can only speak of you.

2005-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

I love you Troy!!!

2005-08-31T19:06:00.000-07:00

Anna is the mostest beautifulest woman in the whole wide world. I love her more than any other man ever loved any other woman. She's the greatest woman who ever lived, and I love her, love her, love her!!!

2005-08-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

I love you Anna!!!

2005-08-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

I love you Anna!!!!!